Why I'm Here

In Kindergarten I had a boyfriend who I thought was the love of my life and I was convinced we'd get married someday. Then this new kid came into our class and he was a total baby douchebag but everyone loved him because he was funny. New kid was totally in to me so I dumped my really sweet and lovely boyfriend for him. Then one day on a field trip to the Matzah factory he showed me his dick. Like we're 5 years old on a fucking bus and this kid just whips it out, and I can still remember thinking it was really funny. I'm convinced choosing dick over love at age 5 has cursed me for life. I have shit taste in dudes and I'm completely aware of it, yet I continue to date and sleep with complete shit heads. So, this blog will be a collection of stories about all the losers, d-bags, tools, assholes, dickheads, womanizers, misogynists, minute men and closeted homosexuals I've encountered. It is a tribute to the trouble my great rack gets me into, and is dedicated to all my lady friends who will love me no matter how douchey the guy I'm dating at any given time will inevitably turn out to be. And so it begins...