I have neglected this blog for far too long and since I've had a couple requests for some new posts, I've decided to start putting more time into it. Over the next few weeks I'll be sharing some slightly TMI experiences I've had with dudes over the years, in no particular order. This is the story of the Deadbeat Dreamboat* (DD).
My experiences with men since the end of November can be summed up with a simple question that is quickly becoming my official catch phrase as well as the story of my life : "What is my life?" It all began a mere two days after being dumped by a man I really cared about (despite his habit of wearing cargo shorts on a daily basis). I went out for my cousin's birthday where I somehow managed to pull the hottest dude I have ever and possibly will ever pull. He was seriously delicious: brown hair, blue eyes, tattoos, nice shoes, and he was wearing the shit out of an American Apparel Triblend.
When it was time to leave he offered me his coat and his arm and walked me to my ride. I was staying at my cousin's place, which was where he was headed anyway (he lives in the same building) so my cousin insisted he come over with his other sexy friend who happened to be following her around like a puppy all night. So they did, and he brought his dog. Then, out of nowhere, I started to spit mad game and innocently suggested we take the dog back to his place. He asks "are you trying to get me back to my room to seduce me?", and I'm like "um, duh". And that is exactly what I did, except of course I happened to be wearing the most boner-killing shapewear I own, which is like a chore to get in and out of. I also had my period (the end, luckily) which was apparently irrelevant to him. I feel like older dudes are so seasoned that they don't even give a shit. He was the perfect balance of tender and rough in bed, and made me feel like he actually wanted me there despite having just met me. It's always nice when the guy at least puts in a little effort to front so as not to make you feel like a piece of meat, unless of course you're into that. I stayed over and after some additional morning sexy time, I got ready to go. I was genuinely surprised when he asked for my number, because it was pretty clear that this was a one time thing. But it turns out it was just a formality because I never heard from him again, surprise surprise. I did however, run into him a couple weekends later. I handled it like a boss; said hi, asked how he was, very nonchalant. Dude turned bright red when he saw me AND went in for the hug without me even trying. It was so satisfying, and I always like seeing someone I've seen naked because it's like having an unspoken inside joke. Anyway it was the best possible timing and the best possible situation; an extremely successful rebound.
*The Deadbeat Dreamboat is a 29 year old living with a roommate and a dog, plays in a band (an actual one, though), works as a waiter or something, and plays video games.
